Prayer of a Relunctant Servant

Dear God,

I've got to make a decision soon. I can't believe I'm even considering doing this. It's a big commitment, a huge change for me. And I'm not even sure it fits me. Who am I, that I shoud go and take this step? Of all people, why did you choose me? I really don't know if I can handle the task.

Let's imagine I say yes. How do I begin? I can't just waltz in there and assume command, as if everyone already trusts me. What shall I tell them? They might not accept me. Maybe they won't like me. I can't do this without their support. What if they don't believe me? What if they think I', not qualifed, or worse, don't want my help? I can't take being rejected, God. You know how fragile my ego is.

I can't picture myself doing this. I'm not cut out for it. I have never been eloquent. It's not in my nature. Why can't I stick to what I've been doing and not embarrass you or anyone else?

The more I think about it, the colder my feet get. I can't do this. It scares me, and I certainly don't need more fear in my life. I don't have what it takes for this one, God. O Lord, please send someone else to do it. Surely you have an alternate who wil do a better job than I could ever do....

You're still asking me to do it. I can't shake the sense that you're serious. You really want me, don't you? Forgive my arguments, Lord. I'm learning that you have a much higher view of me than I do. Thanks for your confidence. I guess we both know who's really going to get it done. I'm going to need your help, God. Yes, I'm definitely going to need your help.

Amen.

This prayer is very similar to mine in year 2000. When my Senior Pastor ask me to work full-time at church. I am not prepared. I am very effective at work, I am helping the sick and needy, what more does God wants from me?

Finally the Lord prompted me to accept the challenge. Despite of my incompetence in the area of administrative work, God use me. His blessings shower upon me and my family.

First of all, God draws me closer to Him, both physically and spiritually.
Secondly, the Lord teaches me despite all our difference, how we support each other and work together in the Body of Christ.
Thirdly, God bless me with a great mentor, who is also a teacher, a partner in ministry, and a very good Brother-in-Christ.

I will always thank my Lord for giving me such blessings through all these years.